Summer dayyyys...

On Saturday all my girls planned a river trip for my girl Jenny's birthday! We all headed out to the American river at about 11 on Saturday mornin, blew up a couple rafts and 10 of us cozied up with about 150 beers and set sail! It was a ton of fun! There were tons of people out there. Everybody rents a few rafts and ties them all together and floats down for a few hours. The water was a bit chilly so we weren't very excited when everyone else busted out their industrial home-made pipe water guns! Apparently it's the thing to do, just squirting and soaking innocent passerby-ers. We had a blast nonetheless. We went further down than most of the river-goers and ended up getting out down on Howe.

After a couple hours of rest and freshening up we rallied up for some dinner at Ernesto's downtown and ventured out to Devere's. Devere's was a fun spot, a cool pub atmosphere and it was pretty packed. After closin' the place down we were spent and ready for bed! But randomly, walkin home, we came across this cab pulling over that was jam packed full of people and a foot hanging out the window...who elses 4 inch heel is it than Becca Kenyon herself!!!! So as one can imagine, as we all recognized each other a lot of screaming commenced and we ended up hangin out with Becca and her friends for a bit. Overall it was a great day/night! :)

I can't hear you...

Lately I've been doing some "soul searching" I guess you can call it. I bought this book that totally drew me in called, 20 Something 20 Everything. The back cover reads:

Are you wrestling with a sense that you haven't done enough? Or you've done it all and don't know what's next? If you've ever wondered why you aren't enjoying the "best years of your life," and why your still mired in confusion about the choices you've made or need to make, this book is for you.

I'm about 65 pages into it and it is bringing me some comfort. It's all about women my age struggling with 3 big questions: Who am I? What do I want? How do I get it? I have literally been asking myself these questions lately, especially what do I want! The book talks a lot about expectations. We all have tons of expectations placed upon us by our families, friends and society. Additionally, we place a load of them on ourselves. I have been aware of my own stifling expectations for a while now. The author talks about weeding through the "externally driven expectations" to discover what you really want. Learn to listen to your 'inner voice.' Now this all sounds great...but boy is it hard to hear that inner voice. Sometimes I think that there are so many other peoples' thoughts, opinions, beliefs running through my mind I wonder if any of them actually are my own!!!!?? I am trying to discern what I myself believe about life and what is right and good, from what everyone else says. It seems like such a simple question ' what do you want?' You can come up with a list of things that you want for yourself, and that's a start, but then the next step is how to get there AND is it really what you want or what you should want!?! AHHHH...

As for now, my main concern is trying to listen to that inner voice. Thinking for myself. But when I try to really sit and think about it, it feels as though every thought I have can be traced to another source. Do I act on what I believe or do other people influence the choices I make? I have always been one to worry about what other people think. It is something that I am very disappointed about but it is hard for me to avoid and I am making a conscience effort to change. I have always envied people who are so carefree, unique and not afraid to be themselves in every situation. I'm not saying that every breath I take I am worried about what someone will think, but I am beginning to recognize the number of times I put other peoples opinions and judgments ahead of my own (or let them guide my actions and feelings). Kinda scary how much influence others have on us, or some of us...

Ergo, as I have said before, I am a serious work in progress. However, I think that I am on the right track...it begins with self-awareness and I've got a lot of that goin on right now.

Wow...it's been awhile

Just as I suspected, I haven't done a very good job of keeping up with this thing....

A lot has gone on since my last post. It seems like I have been making up for lost time in a way; a lot of drinks with a lot of friends, nights in downtown Sac, nights in downtown Roseville :P, Rollins Lake, trips to The City, Giants game, Lake Tahoe, a lot of fun!!! All in all this summer and being home has been everything I'd hoped it would be. I am still feeling good about my decision to move home.

That being said, I have been getting a few SoCal/San Diego withdrawals. As I continue to settle in up here I am reminded of the things I am so happy to have back in my life, but I am also reminded of some things that are no longer there. I guess these are natural feelings that come with all big life decisions.

Either way, I know that practically and economically being home is without a doubt the place I need to be in order to get established and ready for the life ahead of me! As I have discussed with several friends lately, now is a time when we are all reflecting on ourselves, evaluating our choices and deciding how we plan to spend our lives. Big things to think about!!!!! No easy task!

However, as much of a ridiculous planner that I am, I find myself again at a point where I really have no idea what lies ahead of me...job, romance, location.... and there is something exciting about that.

I just need to take it all in and be grateful for the opportunities I get and the love I have surrounding me!!!!

"Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still."

Geeze...that got pretty deep!

Home Sweet Home

After 6 years of living on my own and out of town I am back home in the Rock living with my parents!!!! It still hasn't sunk in that I'm here for good...at least for now? It does feel good though, and its great to be back just as summer gets underway! It's nice to see familiar faces...pretty much everywhere I go.... and I am looking forward to Rocklin summer nights, days on the lake, being close to old friends and family, trips to Tahoe, weekends in The City, and watching my lil bro start high school. 

It's good to be home.

What i'm going to miss about San Diego...

As the move back home steadily approaches I find myself soaking up the beauty of SD and trying to remind myself why I am leaving this place...

I am going to miss:

1) GORGEOUS views of the ocean from all over the place

2) Living 6 blocks from the beach

3) Cars, trucks and SUV's with surfboards hanging out the window or racked on top

4) Walking down to a street lined with bars full of young party goers feet from the water, any day of the week (heavy drinkers in PB)

5) Beach cruisers cruisin down the street all day everyday

6) Morning bike rides down the boardwalk

7) Going to beach just because there's nothing else to do during the day

8) Hearing my neighbors gearing up for a another night out

9) Big freeways with at least 5 lanes

10) Driving an average of 80mph on the freeway, right along with everyone else

11) The fog rolling in over the coast in the evening

12) Wet suits...on surfer boys or hanging off balconies

13) Naturally sun-bleached blondes

14) The downtown city scape, especially at night

15) Real, good mexican food!

I'm A Teacher!

I got the job! The interview I had last week for a summer school position at Rocklin High...the principal called today to tell me the I got the job!! I was SHOCKED! 

The interview went alright but I didn't feel that great about it. Plus two of the other interviewees were teachers at Whitney High School. So I left the interview thinking, naturally they would hire the experienced teachers over me! Apparently not!?!?!? I couldn't believe it.

I will be teaching both sessions of U.S. History at RHS summer school! Ahhh! I am so excited! 

Slowwww Down

I am sitting here subbing for my first Math class. The class is called Algebra 3-4, so these kids have taken Geometry, Algebra 1 and are now in Algebra II. This school is a very good school, lots of high achieving kids. Looking at the class I am assuming their advanced sophomores.
I ask one of the girls sitting by my desk if they are sophomores and she says "We're freshman"! What!?! "In 3-4?"
"Yeaa, we have a lot of over achievers here. We like to take calculus when we're sophomores!"
I'm like geeze..."So what do you do for the rest of high school?"
"AP Trig or Stats. There are some 8th graders in Calculus too!"

Hold the phone! This is getting ridiculous! I'm all for advanced placement and getting ahead but at some point it has to stop. I mean kids are going to be taking AP (college courses) in Junior High and upper elementary?! What is the good in that? I guess this might just be the way of the future but its seems a little crazy! From what I've seen at this high school, the problem I have with AP is that kids are so concerned with getting as many AP credits they can, the highest grades, to get into the most prestigious schools, they are bypassing some of the fundamental benefits of their education because they are inundated with AP classes. Enjoying their high school experience, socializing, and most importantly taking time to enjoy the learning process. I was that kid that wanted the grade, not gonna lie. I worked hard for my grades but I didn't mind. Being on the other end of it now, I want to see kids getting something out of it more that just the grade. Even if it is just a little curiosity for a topic or a skill that will help them become a better communicator or thoughtful person. So maybe that's what we should be emphasizing...
Deep...I know. ;)